Not the best of moods...

Yeah I'm like so freaking pissed and fed up and sad at the same time. Okay, went back to camp today because I reported sick yesterday. Went to the polyclinic yesterday. And guess what? I got a freaking scolding for reporting sick outside. This instructor, A (undisclosed name), told me off for reporting sick. He told me to check the schedule next time before reporting sick. He even said that I 'don't even bother to ask about the lesson yesterday'.

Never mind. I had to go for a quick revision on yesterday's lesson (thank you Azmi!). And the lesson started after that. It was more of a quick revision. And he started asking me questions that I don't know and I don't have the answer to it. I felt so embarrassed because he started shouting at me and making me feel so 'lousy'. I couldn't eat properly, talk properly or even look at people properly (maybe that's an exaggeration).

Okay... 1st thing 1st... is there a schedule for reporting sick? 2ndly, I did ask my buddy beforehand about the lesson and he told me that it was not easy to explain it through the phone. How can he assume that I was not bothered in the 1st place? And he taught us in an extremely confusing way, so I think I got confused myself! And I'm just so... stressed.

The fact that everyone in class seem to be better than me... the fact that my buddy is coping well (it's not a bad thing.. it's good and I'm happy for him).. the fact that I'm not interested in technical stuff, or army life to begin with... doesn't help the situation. I'm so down. But I did try to lift myself up. Talked to Vanitha (chi fan le ma?), Jem and a few others on the Net.

One thing that I need to remind myself. Not to give up. I'm trying not to. studying like mad, reading, revising. Ai yo. If only I was in TP... life was so much better then...

Anyway I need to go and iron my uniforms and stuff. Gotta catch up with my sleep. See ya all!