Life in PSP Mode

ARGH!!!

Have you ever felt so frustrated with irritating, bitchy, nasty or just plain idiotic people that you just wanna strangle!??! Although I'm in an industry where I have to face all sort of people and I have to handle them with TLC, I do get frustrated at times! Hello? I'm only human. I can only tolerate THIS much.

Doesn't help that these people keep coming back to bug you time after time. And it happens just when you forget about them altogether. MUY IRRITANTE MAS! TODO ES TONTA PERRAS!!!

AAAAAHHHHH

If only life was like some computer or video game. You know... just put all these stupid people into a video game and just shoot them, punch them, kick them... whatever!!! All gone, forever! HAHA (evil laugh)... Life in PSP mode.

Speaking of which... should I get a PSP?

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

¡Feliz Navidad!... ¡Feliz Navidad!...

Haha! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Woo hoo... I'm feeling kinda crazy now. Everyone is celebrating on the streets, going out, watching movies, having parties what not... but today I just feel like taking a break. Besides... I had a great weekend :)

We all ought to celebrate, no matter what you believe it. You can choose to party the night away, go to church and sing carols, watch a movie with your friends, do some sports... I mean it's a public holiday anyway!!!

Today just felt like staying at home cos I have Christmas cards to do (OH NO). Yes, belated as it is... no choice lah. Work has been taking a toll on me (and my precious time). I mean it is fine, really. But there's just too many things to do. One min I'm with Client A on the phone, while Client B walks in and ask about their visas and Client C bugs me about some proposal... ai yo how lah!?!?!

I had time to swim (although it started raining cats and dogs when I entered the pool) and relax myself and my mind. Then I think about the things I did this year. So much things has changed:

1. Army Days

It was quite a fine year... cos I kinda knew that I was going to ORD this year. And although it was in the later part of the year, I knew I would be happy. Just that, I don't really fancy being in it. There's too much nonsense in it. I'm just lucky to have survived without any bad records.

Okay yes, maybe I made a few enemies and I get teased at times. And doesn't help that some of the higher ranking personnels are rather 'strange' and ridiculous in their own ways. Honestly, it sucks.

But, come to think about it... years ago I never imagined myself to have actually completed NS. Years ago, I dread the fact of ARMY. It's like going to jail or something. BMT, training... oh my God. "Tears on my Pillow" and "Wake me up when September ends" was my theme songs loh. But I survived. Thank God!

Oh and thanks to my officers, I finally passed IPPT. Amazing.

2. Catching up with friends.

Work, school, army... whatever! Everyone is getting busier and busier. Hard to make new friends as you grow older, so it's best to catch up with those that you have!

I tried to go out more with Desmond and Arunan while they were back from UK. It's kinda funny that we wanted to go through the same path (somewhat), but we ended up doing things differently. And yes, it is tough to catch up when you have different goals and different focus point in lives, but I am just grateful that we are still friends, despite all that has happened.

I also try to catch up with those that are in Singapore. Jeremy, Susan, James... it was a rather tough year cos of the problems that arose. Honestly, it was rather scary and sickening. I'm just glad the situation has simmer down.

Vanitha, Adrienne and gang are all working (except for Danielle, who's studying). Very hard to meet up, especially Vanitha (my fitch)! Wah... but we managed to go for dinner, go for outings, birthdays... and HALLOWEEN! Hahha I never imagined myself to be going clubbing with a freaking box over my head. Hahaa. I had cereal boxes all over my shirt with red plastic knives on it and a bit cereal box over my head... and I was just a cereal killer (get it?). Hahaha

More random meetings week by week. It's good to socialise.

3. Bali Trip

I went to Bali, Indonesia with Desmond and Susan. I was very excited before, during and after the trip! Hahaha it was really fun. *NOW* I know why people go to Bali. It's a really beautiful place. Although quite touristy, it is still relaxing and nice in a way.

Beaches, seafood, temple visiting, dance watching... it was great man!!! Wish I could go back again. Next trip coming up!!!

4. Change the way I am (reflection)

After Reuben's death (oops, I mean the 5 dragonboaters), I realised the need to be closer to your family. It's like an awakening for me. And I really reflected much on my life and what I have been doing.

Don't know if I have become more selfish and self-centred along the way, which is kinda scary cos it's so not me. I know that we can't be perfect, but we can do whatever we can to be a better person. And I want to be better.

It's only been a month. The pain still urks many. I hope that all their loved ones will be fine. Hopefully they are having a good time in Heaven.

5. Give when you can

I feel very blessed to have a nice family and great friends who treat me so well, so I think... I'm giving a bit more than I would usually do during Christmas.

Treated my friends to pizza during Desmond's Christmas party at Pacific Mansion and I queued up on Christmas Eve for doughnuts for my family. Not that long, but longer than my 5 mins record. Hahha. I feel happy to be doing this. Hahaha I'm always getting treats and presents and stuff... it's high time I did something for those I love. Hopefully they like it.


Ai yo. How come I have so many thoughts ah? Hahaha drama sia....

I hope that next year would be a good year. 2008, a new cycle (for us Chinese) and hopefully things will go well for me and my family. I should be...

Anyway to everyone, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

"And the 1st Asian Idol is... HADY MIRZA!!!"

Oh my God! Congrats to our fellow Singaporean (and of course, Singapore Idol), Hady Mirza, for being the winner of ASIAN IDOL 2007!!!



Wow I could have never imagine such a thing to happen, honestly speaking. I mean... I watch the performance show the night before... and I really thought he didn't have much of a chance. But I'm happy for him, really. And I'm happy cos it seems like Singaporeans are doing their every part to make us proud of ourselves!!! Recent SEA Games was kinda outstanding in a lot of ways too! And many other stuff too!!

What did I really think about everyone's performance that night? Well... here you go:

Jaclyn (Malaysia): I think she has a very powerful voice and she's amazing. She's got the gift. But maybe she doesn't sound like she's enjoying herself much? It does sound a little robotic in a way.

Phuong Vy (Vietnam): Erh... she's really pretty, I must admit. I think a lot of guys like her. I mean, come on lah, she's seriously hot! But her voice? Hmm she has potential, but the songs she chose like... okay that Vietnamese song sounds like those Cantopop song that you hear in KBox. And "River Deep Mountain High" was so so.

Mau (Philippines): I don't know if she's pressurised or something (cos she comes from a country with many well known singers like Lea Salonga and Regine Velasquez), but she sounded controlled. She can show her power and her diva-ness, strength... whatever! But she was just hiding it. What a waste. She could have thrown us off our seats.

Abhijeet (India): He was trying very hard with "Everything I Do", but it still wasn't enough. I think he's not fluent with the language or something. What a pity. The Hindi song was okay lah. He could have chosen other Hindi songs that were nicer actually.

Mike (Indonesia): He sounded fine. I thought that he would be the dark horse of the competition, cos his voice is quite soothing, although it does sound a little typical in a way. But it's good and strong. And he looks like Indo's version of Ruben Studdard! Hahah

Hady (Singapore): I think the judges (or whoever) made the right choice to send Hady over. I can't imagine Taufik over there. I like Taufik a lot, but maybe... I don't know. Hady seems right for this competition. Anyway I really really felt that Hady chose the wrong song. Wah lau, "Beautiful Day"!??!! Jac sang "Gemilang", why don't you just sing "You Gave Me Wings"? It would have blown the people off. But anyway, the Malay song was good. I think he sang better than Taufik.

In my honest opinion, I thought Jaclyn would win. I think it was good that we got to vote for 2 countries, so I also voted for Hady. Didn't expect the results to be like this. But, I mean seriously, it's good. I'm happy about it. I'm not sure about the fans of the other Idols, but seriously, for us Singaporeans, this is a big thing!!!

I mean, there are many great singers (and talents) here in Singapore. Stefanie Sun, Tanya Chua, Taufik Batisah, Pimp Parking Lot (is that their names?), A Vacant Affair, Electrico and many more! Problem is, we Singaporeans don't support them as much as Rihanna (yucks), Chemical Romance and whoever that's popular now. Sad, but true.

But today speaks of a different story. Of a new phase for Singapore's entertainment industry. Hady wins an international recording contract (wow) and trip around the world to see the other Idol shows. WOW. Seriously, CONGRATS

HADY, WE ARE PROUD OF YOU :D

Ella, ella, ella, ei, ei, ei... Rihanna vs Mandy

"Ella, ella, ella, ei, ei, ei"

Like it or hate it, every single radio station is playing that damn song. Okay, I really like the song. But Rihanna... erh...

Anyway moving on to what I want to say... a few of my friends have told me that the cute and lovely Mandy more did a version of this song. Whoa... Mandy? Umbrella? First thoughts was like... "Whoa... it's like asking Britney to sing 'Hero' by Mariah"! Okay I'm exaggerating... but.. hmm it would be interesting.

I finally managed to watch (and hear) both versions side by side. Here are my views:


Rihanna's Version (Original)





Honestly, I hated this song initially. I'm not a fan of Rihanna at all. The only song that I like is her very first single, which is "Pon De Replay". Even "Unfaithful" is so-so. After some time... I started to like this song.


But the video... is horrendous. It's like plain.. slutty. Sorry to all Rihanna fans, but I think the video kinda spoilt the song. I mean... what's with the 'oh look, I'm so pretty and sexy' poses and silly outfit... and that water thingie?!?! Oh my God! Ridiculous MTV.


Mandy's version (Cover)




I can't really comment much about the MTV, cos it's just Mandy standing with her band singing Rihanna's "Umbrella", alas AOL Music session. But there's something about the way Mandy sings it and, you know... make it sound beautiful. There's something pure about her voice and her image that makes this song tamer than the original version.

It was a little hard to digest a slower version of it, but I'm starting to like it and appreciate it. Like one of my friends told me, this version brings out the real meaning of the lyrics. But maybe it wasn't necessary to show Rihanna's dumb vid at the background, seriously...


VERDICT

I like both versions of the song, but if you want me to judge it based on overall appeal, I would have to give kudos to Mandy. She makes the song sound nice and she doesn't do any funny video that screams "SEX". Just plain, simple and normal.

I'm sorry Rihanna, but your video... it's like I really have to erase the whole video off my mind whenever I hear the song, or else I will hate the song!!! I mean, so what if you spend 4 hours getting that silver paint on your body and maybe hours getting the [slutty] dance moves right, it's still terrible. Babe, you are better off just shutting up and driving...

"Good Morning, X X Travel"

After 3 gruelling months of endurance, pain, pressure (maybe pleasure) and work, I am finally confirmed in my travel agency :) no longer floating around like a wandering soul. Hahaha!

It's been one heck of a rollercoaster ride for me. I mean, I'm only 22 and while most guys are mugging their lives at every McDonald's possible, I'm squeezing my time with proposals, quotations and a hell lot of work. Yes, I made the decision to start working 1st after much thought.

Yes I know it's a big and crazy move, but why not? I mean, I've totally average grades, I can't get into the course that I want to and I don't wanna waste my time (and life) away, so why not work?

I went for interviews way before I ORD and confirmed a job a month before my ORD. Rather early, I would say, but better than starting to look for one after that, which might take forever to get. I don't want to miss any opportunity, seriously.


Finally after searching, interviews and a few offers... I made the decision to go to a travel agency. It has been something that I wanted to do ever since I studied tourism in TP, so I thought it's high time I put my skills to the test! Here's what happened during the few months!!!



September

I came in a few days after my official ORD. I was rather scared. Always have this funny 'butterflies-in-my-stomach' feeling whenever I enter a new environment. It's a weird kinda thing. I came very early, so I actually went to the cafe nearby to get a drink and calm my nerves before I went up the lift to my new office. I was scared at first, because I've been to the office a few times and it's kinda scary cos everyone seems to be looking towards the glass door (entrance)... which is fu-reee-ky!


Took me some guts to actually enter the office and was greeted by Carmen, who stood up and led me to my desk. OH MY GOD MY OWN DESK. WOW. Hahaha *bimbo moment*. It's *SO* cool to have your OWN desk. I wasn't expecting it, really!!!


I had intense training with by my director, Theng Hwee, his wife, Siew Yim and all my colleagues, like Tahir, Steve, Kok Yong, Clare... it was quite a bit of a headache, I mean to absorb all of these information. But I know I would have to live on it... so had to press on.

At the end of the month, I had Abacus course, which is some system that I have to use for ticketing. Was rather scared at 1st, cos I can't remember much about ticketing (which I've learnt in school, although it was another system). Thankfully all was well. Final test was not that bad... but I don't know if I can pass well.




October

Yay! Had my birthday... in the office. Hahaha it's not that strange, but I didn't know it was obviously that it was my birthday. I mean, I brought a cake to the office. Is that obvious? Hmmm I must be really bimbotic.

Anyway more work... quite overloaded in a way. My director was monitoring my every move and it's quite scary in a way. I mean it's okay, not that bad, but maybe I wasn't used to this lifestyle yet. Had to get used to staying freaking late in the office.

Abacus tests came out. I pass, but I was *so* close to distinction. ARGH! Crap. I WANT that distinction. Ai yah. Crap. Nvm, at least I pass and I was close to it. But still!!!

Towards the end of the month, I finally got to meet my GM, Jess. I first met her at some party (during Hari Raya) and only got to talk business to here later on. It was fine. I think she's a nice lady :)


November

Wah this month as busy as the previous month. Somehow, I just can't get out of the office as early as I want. I feel like there's so many things to learn. But at the same time, I'm making so many mistakes and I feel like crap. One of them actually cost... okay let's just that things got really bad and it was internal stuff. I'm worried about all these office politics shit. Doesn't sink in well for me. I mean... I'm just so freaking stupid at times.

This month was also busy because there were a lot of meetings and training, which means I would eventually have to stay late. Not that it's bad, but... it seems like... I'm the only one staying back. I must be out of my mind.

During the start of the month, we had this company event and it was quite fun... running around Singapore and stuff. Like Amazing Race. Just that my team, consisting of my accounts/HR, my director and my GM. All the big people. We won in the end. Yay and had good dinner.

End of the month, my boss (GM) gave me evaluation. I don't think I should say it here, cos it's rather sensitive, but it's positive. Only thing is... I might have to change my job scope a little. To make it simpler for you guys, I'm taking a step backward and doing a little more background stuff. Huh? Lesser sales? Oh..

Was a little hard to digest, but it was for the better for me and I agree to it. I mean, if it's better for the company and for myself, okay. I don't mind taking it slow and learning. At least.. you know.. she's giving me a chance. And anyway that day I was told that I'm a confirmed staff. Plus increase in pay. YAY! Hahaha

What the future holds

Well, I have a lot to learn, honestly. I think I might be a little too young (mentally) to be working. But, sooner or later, I would have to start, so I might as well get used to it. I mean, it's not that bad. I'm doing something that I like. I love my company, my work... well, maybe not the bitchy clients. But it's a challenge that I wanna face.

I mean... I know it's gonna be tough and difficult for me, really. I mean, honestly, sometimes I go home feeling terrible and down. But I know that I must hang on and be strong. Mustn't give up!!! Gambatte!!!

Give me strength when I am weary...

This song portrays my feelings right now... if only God can save me from all of these...

"THE ANSWER"
sung by Corrinne May

I believe you are the answer
to every tear I've cried
I believe that you are with me
My rising and my light

Give me strength when I am weary
Give me hope when I can't see
Through the crosses I must carry
Lord, bind my heart to thee

That when all my days are over
and all my chores are done
I may see your risen Glory
Forever where you are.



Hope He will answer my prayers...

The Little Kid in me...

When you were young, you always thought, 'If only I can grow up and be big!'. Argh... such innocence. How wrong we were to think of that. Being in an adult world isn't so fun. We human have very complex minds. One man's meat is another man's poison.

You know... somehow I wonder if I'm ever ready for this adult world. I'm freaking 22 and I feel like 12. Hahaha. So weird man. I mean, the other day I was just walking around Bugis the other day and I was so amazed by all the cute toys that some of these shops were selling. Sometimes, I can talk to my friend about serious stuff and then Mickey Mouse comes to the rescue and distract me from it all. I was looking for a gift for my friend and I ended up playing with the bears at Precious Thots.

And I was just telling my other friends how badly I wanna go to Disneyland after watching "Enchanted". The movie was really nice... fairytale dreams in a modern world. If only it was so true. If you've ever been to Disneyland... you would never be sad. It's such a happy place. I feel so good going there. It's like all the cash you spend on the bloody ticket is worth it all. Just seeing happy kids being entertained by cast members and Mickey Mouse posing outside Fantasy Land is amazing. Truly amazing.

I know people who manipulate their way to get what they want. I know people who are out there to cheat me (and other people). And I know people who would play with my feelings. And sometimes, I am either oblivious to this or maybe too naive to even realise that people can be so evil. Why do people want to make their lives *so* difficult? Is it hard to just live in peace and harmony sometimes?

I know this world is complicated. And I know it would be impossible to change it. Some of you might even think that I'm deluding myself into disbelief and that I need to wake up my idea (oh my God, so army!). But... sometimes, I really think that we all need a break and just think about how life needn't be so harsh, so tough.

Sometimes, I see kids playing around and all their innocent smiles and little cute actions that they make. The things that they do, the way they innocently say something silly but cute... oh gosh! Life may be so much better if we were like them. Free from worries, free from anxiety, free from pain...

Ai yah... if only life was so simple . Better get to sleep... I've got adult things to settle tomorrow. :P

Makes Me Wanna T R A V E L ! ! !

T3, cheaper flights, A380, USA visa probs... argh! Makes me wanna travel NOW! Hahaha I would most probably be travelling within the next few months (for work). And might plan for a holiday (but not so soon)

Thinking about it, I decided to go to ICA to get my passport photo done for my new passport. My passport will only expire in April next year, but you can't travel unless you have 6 months validity. Might as well apply for new [biometric] passport!!!

I know that I can do the photo on the net, but the requirements for the photo is so mah fan, so I thought it would be better if I just went down and get it done. The queue was okay, not too long. Managed to get it done within 10-15 mins. What puzzled me was this... they charge S$5.35.

Five dollars thirty five cents?!?!! Man, I rather pay 65 cents more to round it up, than get 65 cents worth of change. It's rather weird... I mean, don't they find it troublesome themselves?? Funny...

Anyway I took the pic, it was nice, but another strange thing.. my lovely brown hair became black! Huh?!??! It should be brown, since it's bright light. Really strange...

I pasted the photo onto my application and placed it in the deposit box. You save S$10 if you placed it in that box, or post it, or do it via Internet, so... I only need to fork out S$70. Cool! Can't wait to see my new passport, cos my older passports... ai yo, all these passport photos... can be really disastrous to me.

I met Arunan (and Galen, who came later) at Tanah Merah to go to Changi Airport to check out the new Terminal 3 (affectionally known as T3). Coolness. You should have seen me when I stepped into T3. Was acting really mad and like a little kid!!! SO EXCITING!!!

But it truly is. I mean, you think about it... when do you get the chance to check out a world-class airport before its opening? You can roam the departure hall, arrival hall, immigration freely without having to actually travel!!! Coolness... although we had to pay S$1 for entry fee. But nvm, it's still cool!

Arunan gave us a guided tour, since he came the day before. I am glad that he told us about the airport, or else I would be roaming around aimlessly... took a lot of pictures. Cool ones, nice ones, funny ones, crazy ones... you name it, we have it!

The airport is quite nice and eco friendly, compared to many airports around the world. The clear glass look and size of the terminal kinda reminded me of Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi Airport. But only difference? It really looks better. Sorry, I LOVE Bangkok, but I prefer Don Muang Airport a million times more than Suvarnabhumi. It was not completed when it was opened then (when I arrived lah).

Anyway, back to T3. It's rather big and spacious. The airport's look is rather refreshing, clean and it looks just sparkling new (duh, it's a new terminal)! The arrival area has nice cravings from Bali, with a 'green garden'. The boarding gate is kinda 'open', just like the ones in America, so no boarding gate is restricted to only the passengers of a particular flight.

Oh did I mention? Big brands like FIFA, Sony, Apple and many others will be part of the long shopping stretch in the transit area. Whoa... can you believe it?

The shops in and out of the transit area is amazing! Hahahah I mean, at Basement 2, you have many shops and food outlets... it looks like another Plaza Singapura or VivoCity!!!

Shops include Harris, Candy Empire, Watson's, NTUC, Braun Buffel, Shanghai Tang, Madame Butterfly, Goldheart, Burberry, Hugo Boss, M1, The Body Shop...

Food outlets includes Coffee Club, TCC, Crystal Jade (to be opened), Brewerkz, McDonald's, Lerk Thai, Hard Rock Cafe, Dian Xiao Er, Mrs Field's, Genki Sushi, Toast Box...

I think T3 is THE place to be man!!! We should all go there!!!

5 mins for doughnuts! WOW

You know, I always wonder why people queue up for doughnuts!??! It's crazy, seriously. I mean, all that precious time wasted... you can do a lot of things with it. I think you can even watch Titantic twice and still not get to the front of the queue!!! Then I started queuing. Hahaha



But I only needed to wait 5 mins. WOW amazing.

Earlier on, I went for a swim and then to Sitex (at Expo) with Jim. Sitex was okay and I was SO tempted to buy the Sennheiser earphones that I've been eyeing on for eons... and then I didn't after walking to the stall. The packaging gave me a queasy feeling (note: f a k e).



After much thought, we decided to go to Changi Airport and take a bus to town (he was to catch a movie with his friends in Orchard), while I stop at Suntec and find my way home. Upon reaching Suntec, I saw Donut Factory and surprisingly, the queue was short. Okay, why not? So I queued up and bought a box for my family :D



Decided to walk home via the Marina Promenade and 'beach' area and I kinda realised that the Singapore Flyer had to be a bitch and block quite a big part of that area. Crap, I have to walk a longer route home :(
































(I wanna sit on this on my birthday)



Walked home and went through memory lane. Times when Desmond, Arunan and I would walk all the way home, singing, talking crap, laughing after the movies and stuff. I also thought about the 5 guys (again) when I saw some dragonboaters at the Kallang River. Even I tried dragonboat once last year during some army event. And I ran along that path before. Such beautiful memories. Now they are gonna change it into something big.


Finally reached home after a long time and had a relaxing time at home.

The Misunderstood Ones. Please spare our national dragonboat team survivors.

Okay, so you've got the whole media hogging your papers, TV, Internet and maybe even YouTube on the dragonboat tragedy (that's what it's called in the Straits Times). Apart for 5 brave guys losing their lives for our nation, we have... the survivors.

I really feel so terrible for them. Adrienne told me once, "Can you imagine those guys that are alive? They would feel very, very guilty for being alive..."

I think it's true. I can never imagine myself in such a position. I think you can make a Bollywood movie out of me if that were to happen.

Anyway on a serious note... So they survived a near-death experience. They are happy to have survived, but terrible to be alive. That kinda feeling really sucks, man. You know, you are alive but you lost 5 friends in just a matter of minutes.

Doesn't help that the media make it sound like the team made the decision NOT to listen to the Cambodian authorities, chose not to wear life jackets etc. Sometimes, I don't know if the media is blowing it up, but I have heard people thinking that the team members are to blame for this incident.

People, please spare them! They are already fitching sad that they have to lose their friends and team members in a tragic accident that happened so fast and you guys are pressurising them, making them sound like culprits. Seriously!!! I think they need a break.

I really have to take my hats off to the team captain. Not only does he have to be strong for his other team members, he has to talk to the parents of the then-missing team members, identify the bodies and speak to the media and to all the attendees of the memorial service at the joint funeral last Thurs.

The pressure, the intensity... it's really too much for anyone. I really hope that they will be fine.

So, to all our brave dragonboaters, please cheer up, ignore all those nonsense and stay happy. Reuben, Boon San, Wei Cheng, Jeremy and Stephen will be fine in Heaven and they will not blame you, so please don't blame yourselves.

What's done... is done. Nothing can be done to make them come alive. All we can do is pray to them and move on. I'm sure they want us to be happy. So BE HAPPY. :)

The Existence of Sexual Abstinence

While having a haircut, I chanced upon an interesting article that might sound rather ancient and obsolete in a fast-moving society... sexual abstinence.

A word that might be unheard of in our current generation and a word that some uphold to. The article was rather interesting, stating down different views on the subject and how some people can either wait for that moment and be the sore thumb or follow the pack and expose yourself to unwanted sickness.

Although we are young and wild, we might want to reconsider our acts. It's not easy, but it's for the better. I mean it does sound fun to do it... judging from the way media makes it sound. Youngsters get curious over it. Yippies get fun from it. Hookers live for it. Doesn't really help that "Promiscuous" is the ringing tone of the convent school girl sitting next to you in the bus (don't get me wrong, I love the song).

I think having AIDs and all those other STDs isn't that fun. Think about it, an hour of sensual and intense fun with that sexy chica for a lifetime of anxiety and pain? The player wouldn't know what he's getting himself into.

Okay, nvm that... I cannot imagine having to become a father without any preparation. It's very unfair to both your partner and the affected unborn child. She has to go through the pain of child-bearing. And what if the single mom have to try and take care of a child herself (if the guy is irresponsible and throws her aside)? Damn, it's terrible.

Maybe we don't have to be a virgin. It's hard to be one anyway. I'm sure we can just stop and be a new convert and stay pure until marriage. Tough, but it's for the better. Why pour all your heart and soul onto someone, when you don't even know if he or she is the one for you? Yes, marriage can go wrong, but I don't think we should give it up altogether. Things can work out.

They mentioned Jade Seah declaring herself a virgin and I suddenly thought of some article that I chanced upon previously and was laughing my way to the sky cos one guy commented,

"These artistes are always complaining about not getting privacy and then they go and grab attention with these kinda news"

Hahaha so true bro!

Anyway, had a new haircut at The Cathay and it's rather cool. Thanks for the recommendation, James! Lovin' it :) then I realised that the colour that I had on my hair might not be so appropriate for a corporate company. Ai ya, nvm lah! Hahaha :P

Went for dinner and drinks with Susan, James and James' friend, Evonn. We were having quite an emo session, cos James was quite emo about some person. Affairs of the heart. Tough man. I hope I wasn't being inappriopriate by making jokes at random times, but I hope he will be better.

Ron welcomes you back to Blog Spot!

Hey guys! Welcome back to my original blog page!!! Yes, after much thought, I have decided to return back to my original home.

MySpace blog is not the best for me, although it has its own benefits. I think it would be best to put all of my blogs in one centralised spot, so that there will not be any confusion. Besides, I love have a website to myself :)

As you know, I can't possibly repost 20++ posts into my main blog, but I will show the link for you to see, so that you know what has happened to me for the past... year? Hahhaa... enjoy and laugh along.

Just a normal day... (dated 20 Jan 2007 Sat)
KL Drama: "Saya Hati Pecah" [1712.06-19.12.06] (Part 1) (dated 23 Jan 2007 Tue)
KL Drama: "Saya Hati Pecah" [1712.06-19.12.06] (Part 2) (dated 23 Jan 2007 Tue)
Sarang Hae Yo!!! (dated 26 Jan 2007 Fri)
One Table, 4 People... Let's Play Mahjong! (dated 28 Jan 2007 Sun)

Being Alone… it’s not that bad. (dated 08 Feb 2007 Thu)
Why are my brothers so useless and sickening!??!! (dated 12 Feb 2007 Mon)
The Blondest Moment (to date) (dated 13 Feb 2007 Tue)
My Most Diva-ish Moment (dated 17 Feb 2007 Fri)
GONG XI FA CAI!!! Year of the Pig (Day 1-3) (dated 26 Feb 2007 Mon)

What the hell... (dated 01 Mar 2007 Thu)
Amazing Thailand: Chan Ruk Khun (Part 1) (dated 05 Mar 2007 Mon)
Amazing Thailand: Chan Ruk Khun (Part 2) (dated 06 Mar 2007 Tue)
Amazing Thailand: Chan Ruk Khun - Lessons Learnt (dated 07 Mar 2007 Wed)
CNY Day 7: 'Ren Ri' (People's Birthday) (dated 06 Mar 2007 Tue)
My Sinful Weekend... (dated 07 Mar 2007 Wed)
My Horrible Weekend... sort of. (dated 15 Mar 2007 Thu)
My Interesting Weekend (dated 20 Mar 2007 Tue)
I dreamt I was on "Survivor"(dated 22 Mar 2007 Thu)
Bali, here I come!!! (dated 27 Mar 2007 Tue)
Check out this video: Sanjaya Anthem (dated 28 Mar 2007 Wed)

My Mad Weekend. (dated 04 Apr 2007 Wed)
My friend joined Miss Universe Singapore. (dated 04 Apr 2007 Wed)
Power of 3: The Hilary Swank Times (dated 15 Apr 2007 Sun)
Power of 3: Viva La VivoCity (dated 17 Apr 2007 Tue)
Rock goes Pop!!! Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" (dated 18 Apr 2007 Wed)
Rock goes Pop! Maroon 5's "Makes Me Wonder" (dated 18 Apr 2007 Wed)
El Momento de Lesbiana: Shakira & Beyonce - "Beautiful Liar" (dated 19 Apr 2007 Thu)
Freestyle Friday (dated 21 Apr 2007 Sat)
“Hmmm, your mutton taste very Indian!” (dated 21 Apr 2007 Sat)
I got rejected by SIA (Singapore Airlines). Hahaha (dated 22 Apr 2007 Sun)
Rejection by NTU (Nanyang Technological University), sick days + deep thoughts… (dated 28 Apr 2007 Sat)
Don’t tell your cardiologist; King’s Brew Burger from Brewerkz is HUGE (dated 30 Apr 2007 Mon)

United 300: Sparta Madness. (dated 05 May 2007 Sat)
Searching for The Room Upstairs @ 42 Waterloo Street /3 Hours for Doughnuts?!?! (dated 06 May 2007 Sun)
Sad Days... What's Up Man?!?! (dated 01 May 2007 Tue)
Goodbye Canon, Hello Olympus (dated 07 May 2007 Mon)
Wild Friday – Happy Birthday Siti! (dated 13 May 2007 Sat)
“What happens if my bus breaks down?” (dated 13 May 2007 Sat)
My mom’s new ‘stone’ (dated 14 May 2007 Sun)
I miss home cooked food for 4 days in a row :( (dated 17 May 2007 Thu)

It’s confirmed. Christina Aguilera’s coming to Singapore :) (dated 18 May 2007 Fri)
The short board game session. (dated 19 May 2007 Sat)
Roller Blading’s Fun (dated 21 May 2007 Mon)
Desmond is back from UK (dated 27 May 2007 Sun)
Shrek Madness: Mini Movie Marathon (dated 31 May 2007 Thu)
On Vesak Day 2007... (dated 31 May 2007 Thu)
I just need to bitch about this... (warning: extremely angry content) (dated 12 Sep 2007 Wed)

Yes, I went for Reuben Kee's wake.

Dear All,

Yes, after much thought and hesitation and discussion, I actually went for Reuben Kee’s wake. Yes, I know, I had a lot of comments and concerns prior to my risk-taking action. Here are some random comments:

“You wanna go for this wake? Siao! I know you are sad, but don’t have to show empathy this way”

“I think it is okay to go, but don’t you think it’s a little awkward?”

“No! Don’t go!”

“Erh....”

Yes, I know, xiao as I can be, awkward as it may be, I just have a strange feeling that I just have to go for it. I don’t know why. It’s one of those moments where... your head says no, but your heart says yes. And my heart is pounding so heart. Oh for God’s sake, I’m having sleepless nights (then again, maybe cos I’m just sick with cough and other nonsense sickness)

After an awfully terrible Wednesday at work, I made my way to the MRT station. I was feeling rather worried when I was in the train. I was thinking, ‘What if the parents ask me to go back? What if I’m not welcomed at all?’

But I remembered I heard that people are welcome to come to Reuben’s wake. Never mind, I told myself. If they don’t welcome me, at least I tried. Don’t you think it’s weird? Something just called me to his wake. But, anyway...

I reached Bishan MRT and I walked down to his block. It wasn’t too far actually, although the map seems quite detailed. While walking and trying to figure out the place, I saw strapping young fit men walking out of a lane and walking into the coach awaiting along the road. Okay, looks like the national dragonboat team. True enough, it was them! I turn into the lane and I saw the wake premises.

I entered and I was immediately lost. I have never seen so many people attending a single wake in my life! I think there were close to hundreds of them (not including people that were going to come)! Thankfully a kind soul let me to the main area. I wanted to pay respects but there were so many people and they were starting the Christian service. Oh heck, why don’t I just sit down and join them?

I sat down waiting for the service to start. I met 2 young ladies and they were so sweet. Upon hearing how I got to know about Reuben (or rather, how I was actually more of a member of a public and not Reuben’s friend from some place), one of them said, “This is so nice of you to be coming down for his wake”. Welcoming notes.

The service started with hymns and songs (and yes I don’t know much but I just tried to sing along). The thing about me singing hymns and songs of this kind is that I am very restricted to a particular octave. And I can’t sing too low, cos it sounds strange on me. But if I sing the female range, it might either be too high or I get weird stares. Anyway I just sang. Maybe God blessed me with a unique range lah.

After the singing, we sat down and hear dedications to him and stories from his immediate family, his father, his mother and his sister.

Reuben’s mother step up 1st and spoke about him as her precious child. It was a little mushy and lovey-dovey, but I really felt the love from her and him and... I felt so touched upon hearing her speak. She spoke about him being a sweet boy, messaging her when she messages him (he gain strength from his mother’s encouragement), holding her hand at such a big age, being so sweet...

Tears just started falling from my eyes. From that moment, I saw a lot of people with teary faces and saddened looks. I was not alone in this.

Reuben’s father then came out and spoke about the reality and tried to be strong and encouraged us to appreciate lives. He seems rather positive, but sad about the situation. He described the moments they heard about the news and how they reacted towards the moments. He didn’t blame anyone for Reuben’s misfortune. He believed that God had a plan for him.

Reuben’s sister’s speech was the most relevant to me, as she shared about sibling rivalry and love. It’s just so like my family in a way. Except that... the love is not strong, like theirs. She spoke of Reuben turning from her small little scrawny brother to her hunky muscular ‘big’ brother. I think they were very close last time and she felt so much for his loss. She sang a few songs, which was nice of her and I enjoyed them.

2 guests came up. One from the organisation that did a musical with his composition for young kids. The other was Sunny Boys model, who did the Calendar Guys (and yes the previous winner Jason Lau came).

I queued up to pay respects to Reuben. It was really saddening. I looked around and I saw many people with solemn looking faces. I even saw a young guy crying his heart out. I can’t help but feel so heartbroken. I think the lost of a really talented, young and charming man is too much for anyone, really.

I mean, although Reuben and I have NEVER crossed paths, I am affected because a young talent is gone from the face of the Earth. A stunning guy, whom could have any girl he wants. Oh, not to mention that he really has a big heart. He works with ITE students, friends and even little kids. It’s so sweet of him. If only I got to know someone so inspiring earlier.

But after paying respects to him...I felt at ease. At last, I got to be close to such an inspiring man. Of course it’s sad to be meeting him in this state, but at least... I feel happier. And I seriously think that it’s something that God arranged.

Okay pause! God arranged you to meet Reuben like this? Are you out of your mind? NO!

What I mean is... God might have arranged for me to attend the wake to inspire me, to make me more positive and happier.

Thanks to Him, I feel so touched and I just feel that I want to be like Reuben. Okay, I don’t necessarily need to go to Yamaha and started banging the piano or go to Kallang and paddle like there’s no tomorrow (or even beg the modelling agency to give an exception to a guy of 1.65m frame), but I want to have his qualities. Strong, gentle, filial, happy and sweet.

Also, I want to be closer to my family. Upon hearing their speeches, I felt so sad. I haven’t spoken to my maid regularly prior to her departure (back to Udon Thani, Thailand). I haven’t spoken to my ah-ma, who always ask me not to spend so much money on movies and other stuff. I haven’t spoken much to my cousins. I haven’t spoken much to my aunties, whom brought me up to who I am. And to my immediate family, my brothers and my parents. I cried, just thinking about the distance that I have created between them.

And I also wanna show my love to my friends too! I wanna show them that I care and that I feel a lot. I mean... I think what I want to do is change whatever I can to make my life better. And not to give up on myself. Sometimes, it’s just so hard to live life. But we must not give up. We must move on and be strong.

This is what I want to be. Strong in the mind, body and soul. I will do whatever I can to make something out of myself! God, thank You for giving the opportunity to be inspired. And Reuben, take care and rest in peace, gentle giant. It’s a pity that I never got to know you, but I’m sure we would have kick it off well (haha, I hope)! Anyway, see you in Heaven!!!

That’s all for now, folks. Thank you for taking the time to read.